


Fighting to Stay in Control

by aphroditesdove



Series: Oneshots [7]
Category: You Me At Six
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 14:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19396465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphroditesdove/pseuds/aphroditesdove
Summary: Chris is self conscious.





	Fighting to Stay in Control

**Author's Note:**

> Title from: Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart by Against Me! (ft. Tegan Quin)  
> My editor yelled at me for about 7 hours for making Chris cry. So this ended up being about twice as long because I rewrote it to work in some fluff for her. You're welcome, you old hag.

**_narrative_ **

Chris shivered. Standing alone, shirtless, in a brightly lit room, in front of a camera, while four of his best mates stood off to the side was not exactly his ‘happy place’. He was the last one to go, second to Max, who’d showed up late. Chris had considered turning up late, but the idea of having to strip down in front of everyone made him even more nervous. 

“Uncross your arms, man.” The photographer - a hulking, bearded Irishman - gave Chris an odd look. He reluctantly dropped his arms. 

This was all Josh’s fault, as per usual. He’d done a column in RockSound about mental health and wanted to get the rest of the guys in on it. Chris had written about his dad passing away. He thought that would be the end of it, but then Josh rounded them all up for a photoshoot half naked, and Chris was pretty close to drawing the line there. But then Max whipped out his puppy dog eyes and Chris’ resolve crumbled. 

The photographer snapped a few shots, made a few adjustments, and then it was all over. Chris let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, put his shirt and Matt’s hoodie back on, and then went straight home. 

As the other four lads made their way to a pub down the street, Matt looked around and realized his boyfriend wasn’t around. “Anyone seen Chris?” He asked.

“Why? You fancying a wank right now?” Josh replied. Matt turned pink, masking his embarrassed auto-smile as a tired grin.

“No, he just… Didn’t look so well in the studio.” 

Josh shrugged, thankfully opting to keep any of his own personal commentary to himself for the time being. Matt looked at his phone. 

‘One unread message from: Chrisymas

I’m at home, felt a little sick. Stay out if you want, just lmk if you’re going to be out late. xx’

His brows furrowed together. “Hey, I’m actually gonna head home.” Matt said.

“Sexy text from the boyfriend?” Josh waggled his eyebrows, earning a slap upside the head from Dan and a chuckle from Max.

“Sure. See you later, lads.” 

Matt turned around and walked back towards the studio. The wind was almost blinding, and by the time he’d walked back the two blocks, he realized that it was likely Chris had taken the car. And then Matt realized that Chris wouldn’t do that, since he probably thought Matt would stay out late, and wouldn’t want to make him walk home. The latter realization ended up being correct, as he found their silver Honda still outside the building. 

‘Heading home, might stop for coffee. Want anything? x’ 

No reply. Matt shrugged and resolved to just going home. Twenty minutes later, he opened the door to his flat and toed off his shoes. He walked around, looking for Chris.

“Chris? I’m home!” 

“Over here.” A weak voice came from the bedroom. The door was cracked open, and Matt could just make out Chris’ silhouette. He sat down on the bed, next to the lump that he assumed was his boyfriend.

“You feeling okay, babe?” Matt asked, resting a hand on Chris’ side. Rather alarmingly, Chris was shaking. Matt leaned over and saw his boyfriend’s tear-streaked face, eyes rubbed raw and red. He turned away from him, curling up. Matt bit his lip and pulled Chris into his lap, holding him close.

“Shh… Babe, tell me what’s wrong,” He soothed, rubbing slow circles into Chris’ hip. 

“S’nothing.” Chris mumbled, pushing Matt off. Matt’s brows furrowed together.

“It’s clearly not nothing. What’s going on? Was it the photoshoot?” Matt knew that the photoshoot had been challenging for Chris. Even with his constant reminders and attempts to convince Chris that he thought he was the most attractive man he’d ever seen, Chris remained stubbornly unconvinced. 

“Yeah.” Chris’ voice cracked as he replied, taking a little bit of Matt’s heart with it. He immediately crawled across the bed, pulling Chris into his arms again. Chris melted into his chest, crying softly.

Everything about the situation hurt. Matt hated seeing Chris in pain, especially when he knew there was nothing he could do to make him feel better. 

“How come you don’t just leave?” Chris whispered. One of his hands was resting on Matt’s arm, tracing all his little veins and the scar he got from a knife fight. 

“What?” Matt asked, shocked. Chris shrugged nonchalantly, rubbing his eyes. 

“I… I’m awkward and I look weird all the time a-and…” 

Matt could feel Chris physically start to shake. 

“Shh, it’s okay, let it all out.” Matt whispered, stroking Chris’ hair. He felt like he was on the verge of tears himself, but for the sake of his boyfriend, Matt tried to keep it all contained.

They sat there for a while, Chris just crying in Matt’s arms and Matt trying not to cry. Minutes passed and Chris’ tears began to dry. 

“Feel better?” Matt asked, gently smiling. Chris nodded, cuddling into Matt’s chest. Matt kissed his boyfriend’s forehead and pulled him in a little closer. The two fell asleep like that, feeling each other’s heartbeats.


End file.
